Dear D

why is that so hard to say? Why is it, that these feelings have come rushing back? Why, even when every other guy is hitting on me, and I'm feeling better than I ever have, all I want is your recognition? Well, that's a simple answer.

It's like pulling teeth, having a conversation with you. So that's why this is happening. This is a letter to you, D. Here goes.

I adore you. I have for about a year now. It happened almost instantly, and then, as I heard your story, I gained the utmost respect for you. You are sweet, caring, and hilarious. People just have to get to know you. You're an amazing griller, and your smile? It's the most contagious one I've ever seen. You make me have butterflies. Not the little 3rd grade 'I have a crush' butterflies, but the kind of butterflies you only get every once in a blue moon.

I'm scared that because of you, nothing will ever happen with this. Seriously, I am. Grow up! Become a little bit open. We were close when I was here last, at least I like to think so. My heart is beating a million miles a minute right now, D. Why can't you just take a chance? I did. This is the first time I've done something like this.
Please, Please Please Please, realize what I have on the line right now.
Because it's a lot.
And I'm nervous.
I'm scared.
I'm really scared, actually. I'm afraid I just ruined a great friendship...
but I can't hide it anymore. I don't want to. I'm sure you knew, anyways.
So please, just man up?
because if you don't respond in, like, 3 seconds...
I think I'm going to do something that I never, ever do.
Like give up hope.