I wish....

I wish someone was up to talk to me. I was doing great all day, and this new self-appreciation is a combination of Elizabeth Gilbert's novel Eat Pray Love and a realization--this came while eating pizza on a walk home from a bar, just like I used to do in Texas.

Then, I broke. I only talked to him once today...but I couldn't just go to sleep after an amazingly busy day with some of my best friends. No--I had to call. It didn't matter that we didn't talk and he probably won't remember the phone conversation. No--it was just that itch I had to scratch. I couldn't just say no.

Why are you the only thing that does this to me?
You suck.

Now it's time for sleep, the first full day of classes I will attend after being sick for two weeks is tomorrow. I need my rest if I'm going to go play tennis.
And, why is Barenaked Ladies singing Chickety China at the Olympics? Sorry--side note.

I need to sleep. I need to not think. I need to be able to love myself before I can sleep by myself, or even be comfortable being around myself.

I have an eclectic group of friends, though. The Sassy redhead, the brilliant brunettes and the bold blonds. They wouldn't hang out with each other, but I have one to fit every single mood I'm in. That is why they're awesome.
Thank you to Mel and Jessica for hanging out with me today. Old & New friends, I can never have too many to help pick me back up, or to just remind me what 'normal' is.
Reflecting on that thought, life is good again, and I'm kicking Loneliness out of my bed. I'm so not sleeping with him tonight. I'm fine just on my own.