12/14/09

Winter is not my friend

I love the first snowfall. I love playing in the snow. Ice skating, snowmen, snowball fights, snowboarding & snowmobiling. Snow Snow Snow Snow.

However, winter is not my friend.

Since I take Enbrel, my immune system is severely compromised. It works perfectly for my needs except for that one little bit. Honestly? Sometimes I wonder if it's worth the fifteen hospital visits a winter in order to walk. Sometimes I'd rather just be healthy, be able to go to class & not have to take incompletes in all of them just so I can catch up. Sometimes.

It's hard. I'm 21 years old and not in the place I need to be. I should be graduating this year. Next semester, even. Instead of waiting until fall of the semester after, maybe even spring semester. I don't fail. I never failed in my life until I was in College, and that is heartbreaking. Just because my body holds me back from something I just want to do.
Interesting, huh?
So, those of you who skip classes just because you can,
or those of you who fail because you didn't put any effort into it,
just try.
Try, because even when I try my hardest, something comes up, and my best isn't really good enough anymore.