10/11/09

Subconcious stress*

I absolutely love how when everything seems fine in my life, when I have 'nothing' to worry about, I feel a dull ache in my knee. Kind of like how some people claim they can feel that it's going to rain, my knee tells me when I'm stressed out. Like today.

Nothing was wrong, I was sitting in garden just writing. Writing my story about my summer, and my knee started just aching. So bad it almost brought me to tears. It's not something that Tylonal can take away, it's a deep bone ache. Lovely that I'm irrational and overemotional, as well, due to that thing called being a girl and having a period. Then I have to go through the process of what I'm stressing out about. That's the thing. Nothing. There is nothing to be stressed out about. Maybe I just needed to take my shot. Then I figured it out.

I was lonely. For no reason, because I know I need this 'alone' time. I could write, I could do homework, I could read. I get to do absolutely nothing until I fall asleep, and I'm really not going to be that pleasant, so why be around people? There's really no reason.

I want to see Mike again. I want to see Matt. Tanner and Barnard as well. I want the boys to be home. That's what I want. Then, I think, I'd be happy & the pain in my knee would only be dull. That, would actually be perfect.