1/11/10

Strength

I get strength from the oddest things. Randomly, Spontaneously, I got this tattoo two days ago. I was upset, mad, and feeling weak. I needed something to jolt me back to reality to make me remember all that I have been through, and all that I will go through.

I've wanted this tattoo for a while, just didn't have the guts to get it. I made my facebook status 'who wants to go with me to get a needle stuck in myself...again?' I just laughed a bit, thinking about how I wouldn't actually do it. Then, while I was in the shower, I thought, 'why not?' Why not go and get a tattoo? Of this exact phrase that has gotten me through the hardest years of my life?

With a nerve I never thought I would have, I just didn't care anymore. I didn't care that my parent's would give me hell, I didn't care that my best friend didn't like the placement. It's my body, my life. So I went to go get an estimate. It was cheaper than I expected. I hopped in the chair right then. Eric drew the design at Evolution in Swartz Creek, and within twenty minutes I had new art on my foot. I love it. To say the least.

Pain has a different definition to me, now. It has for a while. My foot hurt, I won't lie to you. Even though I was white knuckled throughout the whole thing and grimacing almost every time the needle went in me, I realized that if I just control my breathing (like I did with a 16 gauge in my kneecap), it's not bad. I even got into a fight with my brothers, and because I controlled my breathing, I was able to handle more than I could before. I truly am stronger.

Life goes on. Hundreds of people have been through this before me, thousands are going through this now, and a million will go through it after me. I am not the only one. Life goes on.

I got a new bed, and a new frame. I'm starting over again, completely this time.
It's time I grew up. New semester, new bed, new attitude. I got this.
Completely.