I feel stupid. I've been through this before, I've been through almost everything before.
Breakups, Hospitals, heartbreak, losing my friends, losing family. I've gotten through it and now I'm stronger than I ever have been before.

If I've been through it all before, why is this time not any easier? Scratch that, it is, but now I'm just filled with anger. Not understanding, not sadness. Anger. I'm angry that I let him do this to me again. I'm angry that I'm going to lose my best friend unless he changes, because as much as he says it's me who has changed, it isn't. I'm angry that I can't sleep, I'm angry that I have to force myself to eat because I'm not hungry. I'm angry that he's weak. I'm angry that he thinks we can still be friends. I'm angry that one day, he's going to realize what a mistake he's made, and I won't be there.

I'm angry that there's a giant hole in my stomach that I can't seem to fill. I'm angry that I'm crying. I'm angry that he thinks we can go back to the way we were. I'm angry that I'm alone in this house at seven in the morning with no one to help me. I'm not lost, but I'm confused. I'm not exactly sure what the next step is, but I know I'll find it.

I'm so sick of this happening. I just want to be happy. I thought I was. Apparently I was completely wrong.