4/16/09

Breaking up with Swartz Creek

Swartz Creek, Michigan is a wonderful place to raise a family. Well, it was.
I liked it, anyways.

All of my friends, including myself, knew that I was never going to stay in Swartz Creek. Which is fine, small towns aren't for everyone. It's funny, though, how when my world is crumbling around me I go to the one place I never thought I wanted to be.

Who says you Can't go home? No one. It's exactly where I went.

My room is my safe-haven. The place where nothing can ever, ever hurt me. I can shut the door and be my 15 year old self again, telling my dad if anyone called the home phone because they couldn't get my cell phone to say I was asleep. I can watch T.V. and cuddle with my teddy bear, just ignorning the rest of the world. The rain can pour, the sun can shine, there could even be a massive earthquake shaking my entire core, and everything would be alright. That is the comfort of my room.

It is in this room, two days ago, that I realized my life...wasn't fun anymore. It was there that I realized my 'friends' weren't my 'friends' anymore. Constant insults and berating when one certain person was around, incessant tears made me realize they weren't growing up with me...and I would truly be breaking up with Swartz Creek...for good.

High School is over. I realized that those 'friends' didn't matter anymore. I did not want to hang out with them, did not want to be around them, did not want to be associated with them. I found out the one friend I hadn't talked to was the one who was there for me, and she will be, no matter what. Lyndsi never went away, and I'm not sure what exactly happened but it did, and we've said we were going to fix it...I don't think we need to 'fix' it anymore. I called, she answered. I cried, she talked to me for an hour. The same would happen if the situation was reversed. We don't have anything to 'fix'. It never left.

She, Lyndsi, is a real friend. Those assholes? They aren't. I'm BREAKING UP with Swartz Creek and it feels GOOD. Nothing is wrong with that town, in fact it holds some of my best memories. But it's time for me to grow up a little bit more. Time for me to live the life I wanted to live, not being held down by relationships or fear. Nothing is going to hold me back, not even my knee.

This summer is going to be the best summer of my life. I only have three more weeks of schools before I can embark on it. These three weeks include my 21st birthday and finals...but bring it on. The summer of my life, in Austin, Texas, needs to start now. I need to be on a plane having that summer I've always dreamed of. I'm going to make it happen.
Life goes on...
and it's time mine starts figuring that out.